Monday, November 10, 2008
Friday, November 7, 2008
Monday, November 3, 2008
Sunday, November 2, 2008
A Little Humor
A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, 'I almost had an affair with another woman.' The priest said, 'What do you mean, almost?' The Irishman said, 'Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then stopped.' The priest said, 'Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box.'The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave. The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, 'I saw that and you didn't put any money in the poor box!'The Irishman replied, 'Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in!'
A Little Humor
The seven dwarfs go to the Vatican, and because they are the seven dwarfs, they are immediately ushered in to see the Pope.Grumpy leads the pack.'Grumpy, my son,'says the Pope, 'What can I do for you?'Grumpy asks, 'Excuse me your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?'The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment and answers, 'No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome.'In the background, a few of the dwarfs start giggling.Grumpy turns around and glares, silencing them.Grumpy turns back, 'Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe?'The Pope, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers, 'No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe.'This time, all of the other dwarfs burst into laughter.Once again, Grumpy turns around and silences them with an angry glare.Grumpy turns back and says, 'Mr. Pope! Are there ANY dwarf nuns anywhere in the world?'The Pope, really confused by the questions says, 'I'm sorry, my son, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world.'The other dwarfs collapse into a heap, rolling and laughing, pounding the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks, as they begin chanting.'Grumpy shagged a penguin! Grumpy shagged a penguin!'
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Friday, October 31, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
A little Humor
A guy goes to a costume shop and says to the girl behind the counter, "I'm going to a costume party as Adam and I need a fig leaf."The girl goes out back and comes back with a fig leaf.He says, "That's not big enough!"She returns with a bigger fig leaf.He says, "Still not big enough!"Finally she returns with a huge fig leaf.Once again he says, "Still not big enough!"She says to the guy, "Listen, Ace, why don't you just throw it over your shoulder and go as a gasoline pump?"
OLD IS WHEN
Your sweetie says, Let's go upstairs and make love, and you answer, Honey, I can't do both!
OLD IS WHEN
A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door.
OLD IS WHEN
You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
OLD IS WHEN
When you are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police. OLD IS WHEN
Getting a little action means I don’t need to take any fiber today. OLD IS WHEN
Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.
OLD IS WHEN
An all-nighter means not getting up to pee.
OLD IS WHEN
Your sweetie says, Let's go upstairs and make love, and you answer, Honey, I can't do both!
OLD IS WHEN
A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door.
OLD IS WHEN
You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
OLD IS WHEN
When you are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police. OLD IS WHEN
Getting a little action means I don’t need to take any fiber today. OLD IS WHEN
Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.
OLD IS WHEN
An all-nighter means not getting up to pee.
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