A Little Humor

A guy walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window, "I want to open a fuckin' checking account"To which the lady replied, "I beg your pardon, what did you say?""Listen up dammit, I said I want to open a fuckin' checking account right now.""Sir, I'm sorry but we do not tolerate that kind of language in this bank!"The teller left the window and went over to the bank manager and told him about her situation. They both returned and the manager asked, "What seems to be the problem here?""There's no damn problem," the man said, "I just won 50 million in the lottery and I want to open a fuckin' checking account in this damn bank!""I see sir," the manager said, "and this bitch is giving you a hard time?"


A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked the Priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?""Of course. What may I do for you?""Well, I bought an expensive woman's electronic hair dryer for my mother's birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?""I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie.""With your honest face, Father, no one will question you."When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her. The official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?""From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare."The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?""I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused."Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father. Next!"