A Little Humor

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, ‘I am going to make you the happiest woman in the fucking world.’
The woman replies, ‘I’ll miss you…’


Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?A: Ask your mom.
Q: What is the quickest way to clear out a men’s restroom?A: Say, “Nice dick.”
Q: How do you know you’re leading a sad life?A: When a nymphomaniac tells you, “Let’s just be friends.”
Q: Are birth control pills deductible?A: Only if they don’t work
Q: What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?A: If we don’t get some support soon, people are going to think we’re nuts.
Q: Why don’t bunnies make noise when they make love?A: Because they have cotton balls.
Q: What do you get when you cross an Owl and a Rooster?A: A cock that stays up all night.
Q: Mom’s have Mother’s Day, Father’s have Father’s Day. What do single guys have?A: Palm Sunday
Q: Why is being in the military like a blowjob?A: The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
Q: What do you call a ninety year old man who can still masturbate?A: Miracle Whip.
Q: Why did they kick the midget out of the nudist colony?A: He was getting into everybody’s hair.

Jim went to the tattooist and had ‘I LOVE YOU’ tattooed on his dick. When he got home he showed his wife. “There you go again”, she said, “trying to put fucking words in my mouth”.