Some Thoughts......

MADGE: WHEN I GET ON MY KNEES...IT ISN'T TO PRAY
ABOVE: Madonna raised eyebrows with comment

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place

Billy Crystal
18th September 2008
By James Moore
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Movie-maker Guy Ritchie shocked us all by claiming he liked four-second sex.
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But it’s not just Mr Madonna, 40, who spouts off on nookie – his missus also raised eyebrows when she came out with the rude remark above.
New book Naughty Wit brings together the funniest one-liners from the stars on love, romance and sex. Here are some NOT to share with your granny.
Actor Colin Farrell, 32: “Sleeping with actresses who have fake tits is like massaging rocks.”
Brit actress Minnie Driver, 38: “British men take you to McDonald’s, make you pay, and then ask if anyone is dating your sister.”
Singer Rod Stewart, 63: “There’s still plenty of lead in this pencil but I only write to one person now.”
Comic Frank Skinner, 51: “Love’s the only four-letter word I don’t use during sex.”
Comedian Jim Davidson, 54: “Scientists have discovered a food that reduces a woman’s sex drive by 99%. Wedding cake.”
Actress Sharon Stone, 50: “Women might be able to fake orgasms but men fake whole relationships.”
Sex Pistols star John Lydon, 52: “Love is two minutes and 52 seconds of squishing noises.”
Chat show host Jonathan Ross, 47: “Abi Titmuss has been tied to more bedposts than David Blunkett’s dog.”
Actor Robin Williams, 56: “God gave us a brain and a penis, but only enough blood to run one of them at a time.”
Pop star Boy George, 47: “If I’m reincarnated I want to come back as Matt Damon’s underwear.”
Comic Victoria Wood, 55: “I always thought coq-au-vin was love in a lorry.”
Actor John Travolta, 54: “I believe in love and marriage but not necessarily with the same person.”
Hollywood hottie Uma Thurman, 38: “When you’re in a relationship it’s better to be with somebody who has an affair than somebody who doesn’t flush the toilet.”
Comedienne Jo Brand, 51: “Fat people are brilliant in bed. If I’m sitting on top of you, who’s going to argue?”
Actor Billy Crystal, 60: “Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.”
Actor Steve Martin, 63: “I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful and wholesome things that money can buy.”
Late comic Benny Hill: “For our anniversary I took my wife to the pub. She told me I should buy something for the house so I did – a round of drinks.”
Comedian Jimmy Carr, 36: “I’m a modern man so I have no problem buying tampons. Unfortunately women don’t consider them a proper present.”